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Silly stuff

Misheard lyrics

I used to have a lot of fun on a site for misheard lyrics until it seemed to get overtaken by fake stuff. These are all the real deal, straight from my ears. Or, whichever direction things travel to my brain after they hit my ears, which is clearly not the most ideal route.

KT Tunstall - Black Horse and the Cherry Tree

And my heart hit a problem in the early hours, so I stopped it dead for a BLT.
And my heart hit a problem in the early hours, so I stopped it dead for a beat or two.

Mariah Carey - Fantasy

But it's just a sweet, sweet medicine, baby
But it's just a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby

This one is so bad, I never know what people are talking about when they mention Fantasy being one of Mariah's greatest hits. I always think, 'oh, they must not have released that one in the UK, or it didn't do very well.'

Fergie - Glamorous

Sippin', reminiscin' on days when I had a moustache
Sippin', reminiscin' on days when I had a Mustang

Katamari Damacy OST - The Moon and the Prince

Chicken-duck: a funky duck
Check it up, funk it up

I'm taking these correct lyrics on faith from other internet people whose ability to hear lyrics might be as bad as mine...

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Savior

Born in a ham
All in a hand

This one had baffled me for 20 years, but, you know, RHCP lyrics are just like that sometimes anyway, right?

Songs/videos I would make if I knew how

I want to replace every line in Chic's Good Times that ends with -ate with "rollerskate". Maybe "rollerskates, rollerskates" if (in)appropriate. Mostly I want them to sing "you silly fool, you can't rollerskate". This would be easy if I were willing to make a little effort, I'm sure!

Mary J Blige's Family Affair is a pretty similar song in lots of ways. If I get good at this, I could get a song that goes "we don't need no haters / we're just tryin' to be rollerskaters"

Maybe I just think rollerskating is inherently funny. Also, every time I type it, I start typing "rollerstaking"

I want to take lines from that stupid "here in my garage" youtube advert and fit them to maybe my favourite song ever, Gary Numan's Cars. This is my best attempt so far:

Here in my garage
new Lamborghini here
It’s fun to drive up here
In | these seven new bookshelves
in [] garage

Here in my garage
you’ve seen my TEDx talk
it’s [] about the knowledge
how I read a book a day
in [] garage

Do do do do-do-do, do do do do-do
Do do do do-do-do do. Do do-do-do!

Here in my garage
it’s about the good life
see you on my website
it’s a quick video
in [] garage

Here in my garage
only forty seven dollars
in my ba-ank account
no opportunities
in [] garage

The only reason this isn't your favourite song is because I haven't made it yet.

This one is just unnecessary, not inherently stupid: I feel like verses could be swapped between Desafinado and There Will Never Be Another You with little impact, but I can't work out which. Also probably they don't match as well as I want them to and it would be best to perform them myself, but I'm not that good a singer! To say nothing of my Portuguese.

A non-musical one: in Star Trek Enterprise, when alien-possessed Reed and Mayweather are bothering a dying Hoshi and Trip with their weird questions, they should be asking "have you ever had a dreams, that that you um you had..."